357,794 notes

queerhawkeye:

there is no one expecting dick to taste good though. i’ve never ever once met a cis dude paranoid about his genitals tasting weird or salty or sweaty or whatever. but of course pussy has to taste like fruit and whatever. OF COURSE. 

30,205 notes
Arin's Worst Rage by featuring Dan and Ross
17,762 plays

overlypolitebisexual:

have you ever considered that female celebrities claim not to be feminists/push a watered down version of feminism because it’s fucking unsafe for them to admit to anything else? emma watson gave the most watered down, man friendly speech on feminism i’ve ever seen in my life and men threatened to leak nudes of her and attack her so

17,221 notes

8oo:

nonbinary robots are cool and all but imagine a robot designed to be genderless and it sees a girl and is like “wtf girls are cute im a girl now” and the scientists are like u cant do this thing but she is already out the door 

12,767 notes
harmonicakind:

angryqueershakespeare:

peterfromtexas:

Ok…now what?

I am laughing so goddamn hard at this
it’s like… I imagine this is what a pole dance at an asexual bar looks like
just me and a bunch of other asexuals admiring the strength required to rotate off the ground like this indefinitely
I;m dying

omg
ursulavernon:

thefutureisbroken:

doctorcakeray:

clevercheshire:

corseque:

smw006:

This looks like the type of horse that will lure you onto his back and then carry you into a lake.

#fairy tales

So is this horse is planning to drown me? I no longer trust beautiful horses. 

I would go with this horse.

"Eric, don’t drown her. I shouldn’t have to add ‘please’ when its about not drowning my friends, dude."

Hello! I am 100% Real Horse! Not Kelpie, ha ha, nope, REAL HORSE. Don’t believe the Kelpie hype. That’s what THEY want you to believe. I have made a YouTube video about the Kelpie Conspiracy! Get on my back and I’ll take you to the comment section.
623,783 notes
362,331 notes
6,195 notes
pleatedjeans:

huge cartoons
xombiedirge:

You Should See The Other Guy by Jacob Sparks / Store

bustysaintclair:

Kids please don’t think that it’s unusual or special to be dating someone with whom you can watch netflix and eat pizza and hold hands and also have hot sex with

It concerns me when I see millions of notes on a post that’s like “fuck me hard but also be sweet with me”

Like what kinds of relationships are you in that you think this is a revolutionary thing to ask

52,420 notes
988 notes

thewordsofclayton:

sirtarantino:

a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

Good

561,732 notes